If I May Be So Bold, To Tell The Truth

It’s really mind blowing what used to be undesirable and basic at best is now desirable and thought of so great especially when it comes to the entertainment, fashion, etc world. It’s like basically being above that or looking above the status quo of today being over qualified is a curse while bluntly put basic crap is glorified. Everything is flipped in those spaces. The perception is quite flipped backwards. Back over a decade ago people had to really have their crap together not anymore. You had to be dressed to impress, conduct yourself well, full hair, makeup, well trained in whichever craft just to get into an audition in today’s world if you look and act like bum, an escort (which many of them essentially are or have been and or stripper) with no actual or minimal talent you’re in no question. The more screwed up and dysfunctional the better, the less professional or capable of professional the better. It’s very watered down in not a positive DISS-empowering way. It’s like the lowest of humanity, talent or anything is in an obviously cringing way is the status quo while the on top of things in their lives and selves as well as have self respect are placed at the bottom. It’s this really warped dynamic of like are they blind, deaf, stupid, or all of the above? To be blunt.

In that world they seek ignorant, dumb, insecure, impressionable, lower scale females they can wrangle around and use. They don’t generally seek anyone who’s strong, respectable, questions the status quo, or anything else if you are that you will quickly be pushed out forget it. It’s a chauvinistic male and Jezebel operated viper pit realm. What used to be upheld and respected isn’t any longer. Basically crap is supreme and gold is ash as far as perception goes. Issa Rae had a succinct observation and impression of it hence why she left. As did Jaguar Wright. It’s unfortunate. I’ve made the analogy before artists like Mariah Carey probably wouldn’t be signed today or any of those types Aretha Franklin none just like Naomi Campbell or Cindy Crawford probably wouldn’t be a top model today. The look and tone is honestly the trashier the better by and large. There are some spaces not so much such as pageants more or less etc but anything else it’s pretty low class low brow in comparison. The least talent etc the better. Their picks in that world are not the cream of the crop in non underbelly society to be entirely blunt and it’s piteous honestly. In closing basically if you don’t do body counts or don’t exude that they’ll blackball you in the field and shut you out frequently. It’s pretty standard their sexist if not racist, ageist ,colorist, exploitative fragile egos get offended when you won’t do that or flirt with the idea of it. There’s no point really even attempting to go into that realm if you don’t do any of that because they’re not going to allow decent people in they’ll snuff those off every time as Eminem put it. You’re wasting your life trying. 🤷🏽‍♀️ I’d been trying for years same with talented kids people like myself grew up with, worked with etc. Many of them like myself had such a difficult time they did a few things in the theater and musical space didn’t get further work therefore retired quite young to either instruct or went part time. I walked away from it for a few years because I wasn’t getting anywhere until I went to what I had decided was going to be my last audition if I didn’t get picked 3 years ago after having stepped away for about 4 years following getting into Human Rights work as my main vocation but always grieved for the other in my life. Not to mention the harassment and stalking during that time quite actually kept me from garnering work but again that is what happens when a survivor of a Weinstein or R Kelly type mindset dox’es the prey IE me.. and never removed it which is a felony in today’s world. Then it was only a civil matter today it’s criminal.

As for 2 and 1/2 years ago when I ended up chosen for a dance segment then later modeled in the same show I decided not to throw the towel in just yet that there are spaces out there for people like myself who don’t fit into the mainstream realm. My original goal like many with aspirations was to begin full-time mainstream work at 18 and retire by 25 or 30… but what else to expect from a 17, 18 year old kid? I had a cut off in place if I didn’t get any work beyond what I was doing by age 21 I was going to move on to something else. Of course I did get theater work and invited to audition in the Los Angeles and New York markets for a bit then came along the broke down Haitian version of Harvey Weinstein or R Kelly that I was not expecting not so unlike countless of us Girls and Women in the Arts or even Sports field encounter at some point. Like other survivors it really derailed my life entirely to the point of years later as I’ve been vocal about they and their online imps from hell have sought to destroy my life from advancing further. In fact I figured that’s why they chose to prey on me in the first place, that was their intent the entire time. They saw me as a target and mark from the beginning.

Funny part was ultimately it propelled my life and career paths forward more than before. Would I say I’ve been blackballed in that space, probably or maybe not who’s to say? Would I say I care? No, because as aforesaid I’m too above it and better than the disgraceful cesspool it is anyway. Would I say like all outspoken survivors in that realm is it a Just or Equitable outcome for speaking out? No not at all. In fact there’s a group of them they have the whole demeanor of defeat when I accomplish anything that’s public especially, get uncomfortably quiet, and act like someone killed their puppy in front of them but that’s not astonishing because I discovered like many situations like mine they had ties to the perpetrator I’ve been outspoken of for valid reasons. He and at least one of his imps are weasels. Which is probably how the group I speak of obtained my social media and information in the first place as spoken of before. All this is provable and valid of course.

I figured that dynamic early on types in that world are more interested in if a female can get on their knees or anything else than anything professional related to be frank. That’s the harsh truth of it as we either experienced and or saw the wide scale of that with the MeToo Movement, Times Up, etc etc. That world is full of exploiters of varying degrees, rapists, cut throats, con artists, and deviants.. and they run things in it and have a great deal of sway in it unfortunately. 🤷🏽‍♀️